Arms Wide Open

One of the men in my group was sharing that even though he was doing everything he could, even though he was making his calls, praying, clinging to his prophetic promises, he was struggling with temptation and cried out to God to give him strength to hold on to his sobriety. Unfortunately, he could not and he was angry and disenchanted with Him.

Why couldn't God just lift him up? Why did God abandon him?

That was a comment that really got me thinking, and I immediately thought of parents.

Why does a parent teach their toddler how to walk? The obvious answer is to allow the toddler to learn independence. The toddler will never become a fully functioning adult if they are constantly dependent upon their parents. So when the parent (father, sorry, slight bias here) is teaching their child to walk, what does he do? The father lets go, takes a step back, and encourages the toddler to walk to him on their own. "C'mon, you can do it, c'mere little baby..." and the toddler, with a big grin or a look of uncertainty, takes a step, and then falls.

Now, is this a bad parent? Has this parent abandoned his child?

Obviously not. The mother was right there, arms outstretched, whispering words of encouragement, smiling, laughing, encouraging them to come to them.

Does the child feel like they've been abandoned? Surely. Daddy told me to walk to him, even though I couldn't. Mommy told me to come to them, but I fell and hurt myself. The child can kick and scream and cry, and they will, but does that make their reality real or true: did their parent abandon them?

No, they did not. They were standing right in front of them, encouraging, calling to them.

That is a picture of God encouraging us to walk in faith to Him. The apostle Paul exhorts us to stop drinking milk but to eat solid food, in essence, to grow up, to mature, where Paul explains to us how God gives us His strength to stand up to temptation, but also provides a way out from underneath it. That's an interesting picture: to step out from underneath temptation so we can stand up. But you'll notice that the words the apostle uses has us responsible for the action, not God. God provides the way out, but we are responsible for taking the steps, to walk in faith. We are responsible to look to God and walk to Him with His hands out saying to us, "Yes, that's it, come this way, c'mon, you got this..."

Many of my prophetic promises speak to God holding my hand, not letting go, not allowing me to fall, that He is there. Early on in my fight for sobriety, I needed that assurance, needed to know He was right THERE, and that He wouldn't let me go. I prayed for strength, strength to turn from temptation, strength to make my calls, courage to face my wife and pursue her in her pain and rage. I needed that assurance of His presence, knowing He was there. But as the days and weeks and months and years have gone by, He has let my hand go, to see how far I could walk, to see if I had grown, to see if I had matured. Now it's not a battle for my sobriety, because discipline has come. I have strength of my own from doing regular reps of calls and check ins, so that it is as regular as breathing. I will celebrate four years of sobriety in November, and I know I will be there, not just because of my own strength but because God has been faithful. He stands at that four year mark, arms outstretched, whispering to me, "C'mon Lawrence, there you go, you've got this..."