It's only...

The one narrative that comes up again and again in churches makes me so angry, I wonder if pastors really read and understand the bible.

"It's only porn."

I hate that phrase. "It's only..." Every time you start a sentence with "It's only" you are trying to justify what you clearly know is a detrimental behaviour by minimizing it.

"It's only a cookie," when you're dieting.

"It's only one more episode," when you need to go to bed.

"It's only $20," when you need to stick to a budget.

"I'm only being friendly," when talking too long with the pretty bank teller.

"It's only one drink," when you're an alcoholic.

Let me clearly state this: it is NOT JUST PORN. The Bible, JESUS, speaks pretty clearly on pornography.

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell."

- Matthew 5.27-29, ESV

Then Christians get technical: "It doesn't say pornography, Jesus is talking about lustful thoughts of a woman on the street, it's not specifically talking about pornography."

No, Jesus doesn't say the words "pornography," but what do you think happens when you watch pornography? I'm pretty sure you're not sitting back amazed at the complexity of human biology, the miracle of muscles and skin and neurochemicals that creating a bond between the two. No, I'm pretty sure if you're watching pornography, you are actively engaged in lusting after a woman, and as such, you have committed adultery with her in your heart.

So think about that: with every woman you have had a lustful thought for, you have engaged in adultery. So think about all the women you have watched in pornography. How many women is that? Dozens? Hundreds? Thousands?

It is NOT just porn. She is someone's daughter, someone's mother, someone's sister, someone's best friend, someone's aunt, someone's wife. She is a daughter of the most high God, made in His image, and not yours to just use and discard. She has been bought and paid for at a high cost, whether she acknowledges this or not. There is NO REASON that you have give that justifies the statement, "It's only porn."

Stop rationalizing this behaviour. Stop pretending that she doesn't exist. Stop deluding yourself into thinking that you're not hurting anyone. By watching porn, you encourage the exploitation of women, the violence against them. You encourage sexual slavery, for the 'actor/actress' and yourself.

Choose instead life. Choose instead to turn from it. Choose instead to confess temptation, to confess sin, confess giving in to your sexual addiction and choose instead to fight for your sobriety. Make your calls and drag your temptation into the light. Make calls and keep making your calls. Beg God for strength to turn away from temptation, to confess temptation to your accountability partners (yes, plural). Recite your prophetic promises, remember who you are in Christ.

Choose life, so you will live.